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Nigel Lionheart Farage (born 3 April 1964) is a British politician and scapegoat enthusiast. Known to his supporters as the people’s racist, he was the leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) from September 2006 to November 2009, and then again and again…
Since 1999 he has been a Member of the European Parliament, although he only turns up when it’s necessary, eg, when he’s getting low on duty free fags and booze.
Farage left the Conservative Party in 1992 following an argument over the homoerotic subtext in Top Gun. Soon after, he formed UKIP with Mike Read, Des Lynam and one of the bald blokes from Right Said Fred. Despite a minor hit with a music hall interpretation of Britney Spears’ Whoops, I’ve Only Gone And Done It Again, the band struggled to find an audience. This was until Farage was elected MEP for South East England in the 1999 European parliamentary election. With classic hits including: It’s Not Racist To Point at Foreigners, Enoch Was Right and I Want My Country Back, Farage’s popularity soared amongst people who are unwilling to carry out even the most basic research.
Following the release of the Establishment Smear Campaign album in 2004, Farage was re-elected to the European Parliament, and appointed UKIP leader in 2006. During his first gig as leader, Farage told the audience “UKIP is the real voice of opposition”. He then bit the head off a cigar and sprayed the crowd with several pints of Old Peculiar.
Nigel Farage stood again for the UKIP leadership in 2010 (having stood down the year before to focus on the unsuccessful solo album: Holy Fuck!!! The Banner Is Caught In The Tailplane!!!). Farage won the leadership contest and set to work on new material.
After embarking on a 467-date Question Time tour, Farage’s popularity increased even further. A string of hits followed, with 29,000,000 Romanians and Bulgarians, Foreign Voices on the Train and No-Go Areas For Non-Muslims all reaching the top spot.
After failing to win the seat of Thanet South in the 2015 general election. Farage quit as UKIP leader on 8 May 2015 to focus on running for the UKIP leadership. He successful replaced himself on 11 May 2015.
Nigel Farage resigned again as UKIP leader on 4 July 2016 following Britain’s vote to leave the European Union. Farage, said: “What I said during the referendum campaign is I want my country back. What I’m saying today is someone else can sort out the mess. Bye!”
|Jeremy Hunt vs Nigel Farage||35 - 65||Arsehole Premier League||2016||Recap|
|Rebekah Brooks vs Nigel Farage||11 - 89||Arsehole Premier League||2016||Recap|
|Theresa May vs Nigel Farage||48 - 52||Arsehole Premier League||2016||Recap|
|Nigel Farage vs Paul Dacre||73 - 27||Arsehole Premier League||2016||Recap|
|Liam Fox vs Nigel Farage||8 - 92||Arsehole Premier League||2016||Recap|
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