This week’s guest predictor is Berlin-based UK garage/house producer xxxy.
Michael Gove v Melanie Phillips
Gove 75 – 25 Phillips
I think in the battle of the brexiteers, it comes down to who is the most renowned, and Gove, coming off the back of a big victory in his first fixture, will win based on the fact that more people will be aware of his arseholery.
Theresa May v Rupert Murdoch
May 30 – 70 Murdoch
The new PM versus the Real Madrid of arseholes. Murdoch would hold many league titles if this had been going for longer that a week. I’d be surprised if Murdoch doesn’t win the whole thing comfortably.
Paul Dacre v Louise Mensch
Dacre 55 – 45 Mensch
Tough one to call. One is the editor of the Mail, the other is trying to position herself as the new Katie Hopkins. I think Dacre will pip Mensch but they are both complete arseholes.
Kelvin MacKenzie v Boris Johnson
MacKenzie 45 – 55 Johnson
Another close call. A man who printed lies about Hillsborough versus a man who will do anything to get himself as far in politics as possible. I think the Foreign Secretary (gag) will pip this one.
Piers Morgan v Liam Fox
There’s being an arsehole, there’s being a narcissistic arsehole and then there’s being Piers Morgan. Although Fox should be better known for letting his mate sit in on meetings at MoD , although his public spat with Boris may help him claw back some consolation votes.
Morgan 67- 33 Fox
Toby Young v Richard Littlejohn
Tough to call this one, but I think the ‘Toadmeister’, despite writing and tweeting complete shit, isn’t as well known as Littlejohn. After a heavy defeat in the opening fixture I think Littlejohn will pip him.
Young 45 – 55 Littlejohn
Nigel Farage v Jeremy Hunt
Two heavy-hitters here, both with big wins in the first round. I think Farage was worried about not taking the title so grew a tache, and Hunt is just Hunt.
Farage 53 – 47 Hunt
Iain Duncan Smith v Rebekah Brooks
Can’t see Brooks taking this. She’s not been in the news much, where as IDS will stain people’s memories for many years to come.
IDS 59 – 41 Brooks
Mike Ashley v Philip Hammond
Big Zero Hours Mike will take this one I think. I just don’t think Hammond has been high profile for long enough to take the victory. Should be tight though
Ashley 52 – 48 Hammond
Follow xxxy on Twitter @triplexy