Rebekah Brooks

Rebekah-Brooks
Competitions
Arsehole Premier League
Age
49

Former News of the World Rebekah Brooks was married to former Eastenders hardman Ross Kemp, however the pair separated in 2009 due to Brooks’ relationship with former racehorse Desert Orchid. Kemp confronted Brooks when traces of sugar lumps were found on a dressing table in the pair’s two-bedroomed semi.

Although Brooks and Desert Orchid’s relationship was said to be platonic, the couple fell out after the horse found listening devices at various locations within his stable. The horse also blames the keen equestrian for his sugar addiction and subsequent diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes.

Like fellow redhead Chris Evans, Brooks grew up near the same contaminated water supply in Warrington, Cheshire. Aged 14, the academically astute pupil decided she wanted to be a gutter press editor for Horse and Hounds.

In 2013, Brooks was questioned by the Metropolitan Police after NOTW journalists repeatedly hacked a dead girl’s phone, something that as an editor responsible for the newspaper’s output she couldn’t possibly have known about. Fortunately, a jury agreed and lots of other people were sacked instead when the newspaper folded.

Following the murder of schoolgirl Sarah Payne , the NOTW pursued a policy of naming and shaming leading paediatricians, which culminated in a pitchfork wielding mob destroying the town of Yeovil with fire.

In her spare time , Brooks enjoys standing in a large clam shell and uses her luxuriant red hair to cover her minge like in the Birth of Venus by Botticelli.

Next Match

Arsehole Premier League

Season
2016
Total

Career Total

Season
2016
Total